I was thinking something along the line of 'mortality' or 'past expectations of the future', but those don't seem quite right…
When I was in my late teens, early 20's… naive, immature, fun focused, I would often say to myself, 'I am always going to….'
– dress in the latest fashions. HA! I don't even know what the latest fashions are, how to spot them, or where to buy them! I don't have anywhere to wear them, the money or ambition or care to bother. My only fashion rules are twofold: no joggies in public and no jeans with running shoes.
– listen to the most popular music of the day. This probably started during painful trips with my mom listening to and suffering through the mellow crap of the 70's. Now, I listen almost exclusively to sports talk radio (of all things), with a little talk radio and the occasional country (my 20 year old self would never believe it!) thrown in. My CD's feature oldies by the likes of Dusty Springfield, Joplin, Carly Simon, and others who I don't even know their names. Popular dance music is lost on me. I don't know the group or the words, and quite frankly I couldn't care less!
– be BFs with (fill in the blank) 4evR! Those bar friends, uni friends, high school friends came and went. Only a select few have made the cut and lasted through the years.
– go out every week-end! PaRtY! I would have so much fun, I never imagined a time when the Canada, My Place Rocks, Cadillac Jack's or Cobo Joe's - then a few years later – the Grande Ballroom would not be in my weekly plan. HA! I remember someone getting more serious in a relationship and losing their bar fly status. Losers! NOT ME! That would never happen! I would so rather have a few people over, read a book, go golfing, or just hang with my husband than be in a crowded, loud bar with obnoxious drunks.
Sadly, and perhaps obviously I was never career focused. I didn't have life expectations of my career. I 'thought' I would be a teacher, but decided against it near the end of University. I lack patience and kids aren't my thing. Real estate seemed like a good fit, but looking back, I hated so much about it.
I never had expectations about marriage, and that's probably why my first serious relationship ended. His parents thought we should be married with kids as soon as I was done my teaching degree. Uh, no. I wanted to experience life! I never pictured myself forever with the two other guys I dated for a long time… what? Live with his mom, and he needing to control my every move? Uh no. Or the other guy – live in a rented room with a crazy roommate, paralyzed by a fear of… everything? Uh no. It wasn't until I started dating (and not for very long!) William that I pictured myself truly with someone forever.
It's funny… I think not planning out my career better didn't work for me, but not having unrealistic expectations of a marriage did work for me.
I guess the point of this post is that my 20 year old self would be terribly disappointed in how I turned out, but my 36 year old self has never been happier.
By 8:30 am I had already been to my mom's and back 4 times. Yes, 4 times. I thought my head was going to pop clean off due to stress.
During our fource (I like the word thrice, but it's four) weekly morning coffee routine my mom asked me to look at her mouse. I did and it was working perfectly. She called me a couple of minutes after I left (we live next door) because the mouse wasn't working. I seriously doubted her, but it wasn't. I tried new batteries – no go. I came home and attempted to find some tech support online – not so helpful. There and back again, and again, and all I want to do it check my email, VOX and FB. Hm!
The mouse adventure wasn't stressful in itself, what was was my dog sniffing my butt when I was checking the connection, my mom asking me if I wanted a book about the Canadian establishment, 'Ellen' on TV was way too loud, and Lilly wanted to be petted – all in about 30 seconds.
How did I resolve this issue with her mouse? I looked up 2 cheap mouses (mice?) that she can purchase tonight at Staples. That was easy.
'And that,' said LG, 'is that.'
I'm heading into Windsor this morning, but first over to my Mom's to drop off some things and pick up some glasses… I'll be going to Billy's shop to pick up a couple things as Billy and Dave are in A'Burg, working outside a bit at the house in Windsor, then over to Kiki's house to see her basement (mid-renovation) and drop some things off to her and pick up the missing bra. MomG is picking up Halia to go to Point Pelee (it's actually a nice day outside…). I have a little computer work to do today for the registration on Saturday at Sutton Creek. For dinner I'm making mushroom risotto (wish me luck – I'll be thinking of Tania the entire time) and grilled pork – yum!
Tomorrow I'm cleaning the house – the floors are beyond gross after being gone for 2 weeks, having a little party and the rain has contributed to muddy paw prints everywhere! Tomorrow afternoon we're going to a memorial service of sorts for a friends' mom who died this week… it will be better than one may expect though, as it's at the KofC and rather casual with drinks and friends… it should be interesting as some of my not so favorite people in the world will be there… but it is certainly not about me… I hope others realize that it's not about them, either… we'll see…
Saturday is ladies registration day at Sutton Creek, so it will be nice to see many of the women after a long winter. We're to golf after lunch, so that will be awesome, although I don't think Kiks can make it, as her oldest daughter is in a skipping competition… Saturday night Billy and I are indulging in our steak, wine, (not for him, he'll have rye) hot tub, DVR'd TV show tradition. Despite being in very close quarters with William for 2 weeks, I'm really looking forward to Saturday night, as he is so my favorite person in the world… I'll be great to spend the evening together… it's been a busy week!
To all of you out there!
So what does Valentines Day mean to some? I think of a few people I know, (and have known) over the years… husbands buy their wife an expensive gift because it is expected of him, but more importantly so she can brag to her friends (and anyone who may be in earshot) how much her husband loves her. Husbands take their wives out to dinner, although the restaurants are packed, to avoid the silent treatment. Husbands buy cards they hardly read, saying things they don't mean, and simply sign their names at the bottom, because if you don't do at least that, you obviously don't love your wife.
I'm incredibly grateful and appreciative that I married William. Tonight we'll continue my (our) favorite week-end tradition of staying in, grilling huge steaks with all the good stuff, having drinks, watching some TV shows or a couple of movies, and chatting in the hot tub.
I value Billy everyday, and he does me. I thank him for working so hard for us, I ask him if there is anything I can do for him while he is working, I show gratitude when he brings in the recycle boxes, I try to make his favorite dinners, I almost always greet him at the door, (because I'm truly happy to see him) and I genuinely want to hear about his day. I know that I have the extreme luxury of time to be thoughtful, but I really think it's the little, tiniest of things that make up a good life. It's also not worrying about the small things, thinking before speaking, consideration, empathy, letting go, and bearing in mind the big picture.
I'm really lucky.
You can be so mean!
Last night I went to BMW's for a little girl time, and I was in such a great mood when I got home. Everything seemed right in the world. I sat on the floor in our office and started to chat with Billy about my good evening, when he informed me that a friend of ours has a tumor on his spine.
Oh for God's sake.
He had been having problems with his shoulder lately to the point where he was seeing a chiropractor, then finally the pain was so intense that his doctor sent him for x-rays and a CAT scan. Apparently his CAT scan was yesterday, and he is scheduled for surgery today.
(Again proof that our heath care system is not so bad, eh?)
So, my best go out to him and his family today, and I hope that all goes well, and of course to not hear the C word.
This to me is another wake up call to appreciate every little thing, and person. Be nice to one another. Be generous with your time. Be a good friend, daughter, wife, sister, cousin, etc. Be understanding and considerate. Be a good listener. Be the best person you can be while enjoying every minute.
You never know when life is going to throw you for a loop…