My mother-in-law: A short story by LG

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I’m going to start by stating that I hit the jackpot when it comes to my mother-in-law. She’s pretty much the nicest, kindest most thoughtful person you could possibly meet. She helps us out so much with the dogs and is just so incredibly thoughtful. Thoughtful occasionally bordering on hilarity – like in December when she went to Costco and bought us 48 rolls of toilet paper, ‘just because’.

Along with all kinds of wonderful, she is also a little… slow on the uptake, let’s say. Now, my husband claims she is a very different person since she had a brain aneurysm about 15 years ago (surgery, coma, rehabilitation – the whole 9 yards) but I never her knew her before. I think like many aging parents, there is so much in her head, occasionally thought processes aren’t as clear as they once were.

Am I being harsh? I hope not. Anywho… now a little more back story.

I get up early – like really early. My most productive time of the day is from 5 or 6am until 11am. No phone calls, the dogs are mellow and few emails mean I’m taking care of business left and right. After walking the dogs and lunch, maybe 1 – 2pm-ish, I’m pretty burnt out, as I usually fall asleep around 11pm, so I like to take an hour and just chill. If I fall asleep -awesome!

I come from a family of nappers. My father napped every afternoon (self-employed) as did his father (politician, funny but true), so that and combined with my work habits and sleep patterns, I really don’t beat myself up about this hour of afternoon luxury.

It seems like just about everyday someone calls during my moments of down time. It’s usually either my mom or my mother-in-law. I swear that they have some sort of ESP when it comes to the worst time to call.

So… now the story. To set the scene, I’m a little groggy as I had just fallen asleep… and the phone rings.

LG – Hello?

MIL – Oh hi Liz, I’m not bothering you am I? (see, like I said, seriously nice. If she knew I was indeed napping she would have felt terrible for days and might try to make up for it by buying us tomatoes or something).

LG – Nope, just working away. (at napping, damnit!)

MIL – (laughing) Oh, okay good. I’m just wondering, can you get right to I-75 off the bridge now? (The bridge to the US had a major change a few years ago, FYI)

LG – Yep, coming off the bridge you have two options, just take the option for I-75.

MIL – You don’t have to go around anymore to go north?

LG – (ummm… you never had to go around to go north, only south… through a sketchy neighbourhood – Hotel Yorba anyone?) Ummm, nope.

MIL – So you can get right on I-75 north from the bridge?

LG – (ummm… well known fact if you live where we live… you take the bridge to easily go south on I-75, and the tunnel to easily go north on I-75… it saves merging 4 times through downtown Detroit…) Yep.

MIL – Oh, that’s good because I’m going to Ann Arbor.

LG – (ummm… Ann Arbor is nowhere near I-75 north or south) Oh, well then you’d want to take 1-94 west.

MIL – I-94?

LG – Yep, like you’re going to the airport, but just keep going. It takes you right near Ann Arbor.

MIL – Ohhh.

LG – It’s easy to get to right off the bridge.

MIL – Oh, that’s good.

LG – Whatcha going to Ann Arbor for?

MIL – Me and Elsie are going there for lunch. (I look at the clock… it’s 2:30pm…)

LG – Today?

MIL – Oh no, maybe in a week or two. I might be going to London next week.

LG – (Oh, I understand the immediate need for directions then… ) Oh, what’s in Ann Arbor?

MIL – There’s a great fish and chip restaurant in the south, I forget what it’s called, but in Michigan it’s called The Chop House.

LG – (Well, that makes perfect sense… a fish and chip place that sounds like a steak house). Well it must be pretty good to make that trip (Ann Arbor is about 1.5 hours away, plus any time delayed at the border).

MIL – It really is. Plus I’m thinking about it now because I’m hungry because I’m on a diet.

LG – (Ah… it all makes sense now!) That sounds good. Howabout next time I’m over I pull up Ann Arbour on a map so you know where to go.

MIL – Great, thanks! Okay, well, I’ll talk to you later then, have a great day.

LG – Thanks, you too.

Yep… just another day in the life. Honestly I appreciate the entertainment, however poorly timed!

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6 thoughts on “My mother-in-law: A short story by LG

    stevebetz said:
    March 27, 2014 at 6:12 pm

    I’ve been very lucky with my MIL, too. She’s actually adapted to technology really well. The Beloved’s dad was a bit addled in his later days, she says I really should have known him when he was younger.

      LG responded:
      March 29, 2014 at 7:06 am

      Having good inlaws (and entertaining ones) can certainly make life easier!

    GOM in Oklahoma said:
    March 28, 2014 at 6:29 pm

    Well … now that “someone” is over 40 maybe she will start experiencing memory lapses like all the rest of us normal people …

    Oh, and how jet-setter of her … International dining! lol

      LG responded:
      March 29, 2014 at 7:07 am

      I have some pretty good memory lapses regularly. Sometimes I just stare at the keyboard waiting for the correct password to ‘come to me’.

      Jet setter indeed!

        GOM in Oklahoma said:
        March 29, 2014 at 9:06 am

        I couldn’t think of the word “cosmopolitan” at the time … kind of appropriate for this post, lol.

        LG responded:
        March 29, 2014 at 9:30 am

        LOL!

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